I want to be her again. The girl who went off to Europe by herself and didn't speak English for a week, happily.
Instead, I work a mind-numbing job and go to un-fun parties. I drank an immoderate amount of red wine. I got cornered by a coworker for twenty minutes, as he urged me to come to an EST seminar. I broke a heel and sent drunken text messages. Thank god I know how to exude fabulousness! There was someone at the party who wanted to meet me, apparently, whom I very much did not want to meet. Our paths crossed, and I was fierce, fabulous, and fucked up. We didn't meet. It could be very awkward if we did.
The next day, I was hung over. Did I make an ass of myself? Am I too obvious? Can people tell that I didn't make it home? All of those sad insecurities came back. I'm probably not going to get drunk like that again for a long time. Because I need to be fearless and fabulous in my everyday life.